Saturday, April 28, 2012

Sitting in silence

Words aren't needed as long as I'm with you.

But no.. I guess not.

Do I have to always just watch from a distance now ?



When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face

When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face

I promise you that I will learn from mistakes.
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Fade

Figuratively.

Running through the darkest thorniest woods searching for a sight of you.

Sinking in the bogs waiting for you to come and pull me out.

Will you bring me back to the light ?

Or will you just let me fade away.

I wish I could be close to you.

I wish I could be just lie in your warmth.

But every night, I'm just putting off sleep for as long as I can.

Wishing for a 'Hi'


Monday, April 23, 2012

Not angry.
Not sad.
Nothing.
Not anymore.

I can just tell myself 'Yeah I told you so.'
I knew all this time, that this is how it would become.

It's just a really bad joke.
But the joke is on me.
And I guess it is funny. In a way.

It's funny that I held on to a belief for so long.
Blind faith can only take me so far.
Until I finally choose to see the truth that's been slapping me in the face for the longest time.

It did hurt.
But after all those slaps.
The numbness takes over.

And that's what it's been like.
Living without feeling.

It's a cold cold world out there.
And what is life,
If the warmth you so desire is taken from you.
Again.
And again.

Is love really worth it ?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Here without you

Serious shit is now going down in FYP.
I can actually see all my free time evaporating.
Finalizing the story is just the easy part.
There's still stuff like auditioning for actors,
getting locations,
props,
transportation and sponsorship.
Oh man, FYP is a real bitch.
It's only the 1st week of school and the pressure is so on.

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I met chee ian at the bus stop today lol.
Guy was taking 74 home to hougang cos feeling lazy and wants to sleep.
I can totally relate haha.

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I miss you

3 Doors Down - Here without you



A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Unspoken answers

I can't help but think that...

Maybe I've already lost you.

Perhaps I'm the one who ruined it.

Seeing you smile.

It's painfully sweet.

And it's also painfully clear to me that I don't have a place.

There are many questions that I've always been too afraid to ask.

Because I'm just scared of what the answers may be.

But I have my answers now.

I just hope they're all wrong.

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Scattered about or thrown away
Even if all are destroyed, I thought it's alright
but, I was wrong
after experiencing sadness, I will live changed into someone kind
It is slow, but I'll learn to like the world
therefore..

I am me because I am here
Being myself, I'm searching for something
Eliminating all my vulnerabilities, the heat is painful
But, just for once, not blaming myself so hard
If I can move on, I'd come to love My World

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Answers to unspoken questions



Somewhere above the sky you didn't listen at all, did you?
You purposely overlook the sign that came to you.
See, we always understand each other perfectly... What a huge misunderstanding.
You don't even notice me standing right here, do you?

Mixed in the crowd all alone
I gaze at the sky without a purpose.
With this conversation game of catchball that won't reach
My loneliness grows.

Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there?
No matter how much I search, there's no answer back.
Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so
Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love.
Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart

've lived my life expressionless, Day by Day, and today is no different, is it?
This is a town where you can't not fit in.
Ah, standing in the waves of people, I make sure of those repeating foot steps
And then I feel that maybe I can walk a bit more than before.

In the glass of the town I passed through
My lonely self reflected back
Along with my irritated self
And the indifferent world.

Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there?
No matter how much I search, there's no answer back.
Hey!! Hey!! If only I will make myself
Then the true voice inside of me that doesn't think "Whatever" goes...

Hey!! Hey!! You can't live alone, can you?
If you throw away even your heart, you'll never fit in.
Hey!! Hey!! You don't need a reason to give up
Because even you can stand firm and live in this town.

Hey!! Hey!! Answer me. Is there anybody there?
No matter how much I search, there's no answer back.
Hey!! Hey!! Only I will make myself, so
Even if I cry, even if I smile, even if I hate, I'll live my life with love.
Hey! Hey! Samurai Heart


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I grow tired of trying to convince myself that everything is gonna be fine.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Just lose it

Sick to the stomach.

Nauseating.

Like being burned from the inside by ice cold flames.

If I can have an shut down switch to my life.

I would end it all now.

If I can just lose it.

Lose all my inhibitions, break free of all I chained myself to.

Get drunk, get high, get laid.

Smokes, drugs and alcohol.

Just lose it.

Just go crazy.

Just do whatever.

Friday, April 6, 2012

She's Electric

Same old same old.

Open a chat window on skype and proceed to not say anything until the the green fades from the icon beside her name.

I'm kind of surprised with myself.

I went to google 'how to get over somebody' today.

Then I realized its pretty useless. It's all just stuff that people have told me before.

What it all comes down to is my inability to let it go.