Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Let's Play


shitty drawing #6

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last 2 weeks of school.

Let's do this shit.

There's no going back now.

I'm just really really drained.

Every morning is a battle just to get out of bed.

I just wanna stay in.

Just be away from the world.

And just chill with a carton of soya bean milk.

But I don't think that's the right drink to drink for forgetting painful stuff.

At least it's healthy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I miss you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Time Low - Poppin Champagne



Why don't you say so? I think I'm caught in between
The nights and days fly by when I'm lost on the streets
My eyes, they despise you for who I am
Why don't you say so? Why don't you say so?

Give up and let go, I'm just a boy with a dream
And you can take one look as I fall in between
With my eyes just as wide as my mouth can be
Why don't you say so? Why don't you say so?

Saturday, January 21, 2012

What's the story ?


-Salvation or Damnation-

shitty drawing #5

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi stranger.

You look really familiar.

I'm most certain I've seen you somewhere.

It could have been just yesterday.

Or maybe weeks or months ago.

But you are in so many of my memories.

'Friends'

I am pretty that's what we called each other all those weeks or months ago.

What of us now.

You look the same, sound the same. I'm pretty sure I do too.

Hey stranger, or should I say , friend ?

What's the matter ?

What's causing you pain ?

Why do I ask ?

I guess it's because I could be a tad concerned.

I know you don't need or want my concern in any way.

But still, I have to ask.

Hey stranger/friend.

I'm not exactly sure what to call you.

Which do you prefer ?

You look really happy these days.

Happier than the time when I called you 'friend' without a doubt.

But I wonder if you really are.

I wish you are but at the same time I wish you aren't.

Is that scumbag-ish of me ?

I really am sorry but it really is hard to decide just what I wish.

Because hey, I am hanging on to this tiny thread of hope.

A hope that maybe without me, you might not be as happy.

I guess it is probably really stupid to judge my self-worth based on how you think of me.

But I guess a me , a stranger won't be affecting your happiness in anyway.

'What is he rambling on about ? Stop wasting my time'

Is probably what you are thinking.

I'm sorry for taking up your time stranger.

Maybe we'll meet again one day.

When that day comes, please do remember me.

Don't let me fade away.

And maybe I will finally be saved.

See you around.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm seriously, seriously getting desperate.

No, not desperate for sex.

Desperately trying to find something, anything that can be salvaged.

Anything at all.

Desperately grasping at straws.

But from where I am, it really seems like we're on our last legs, ready to collapse at any moment.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Grass fields....


-Butterfly-

.....rainbows and butterflies.

That's what I need right now.

Today sucked.

Absolutely sucked.

At home... outside... every other damn thing.

I am this close to losing it.

This close to screaming the fuck at everyone who is contributing to my ire.

Everyday, it gets harder and harder to keep it together.

And there's no real way to deal with it.

All this rage and frustration.

I'm going crazy just trying to keep my sanity.

Fuck this.

Whatever.

Fuck it.

Fuck everything.

I don't give a flying fuck.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Incomplete

-Missing Piece-

Horrible drawings day 3.

That's supposed to be a missing jigsaw piece but wtf it looks nothing like it.

Looks more like some half-assed logo or some shit.

I have like no drawing skills.

Need to like die in a fire right now.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

- Don't Fade Away -

2nd horrible drawing.

I guess I'm gonna do 1 everyday.

So the handful of you can see a horrible drawing everyday.

Maybe they'll be so bad that you guys won't ever visit again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out



Hold on, hold on, don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile, shine on
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Cause all of the stars are fading away
Try not to worry you'll see them some day
Just take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

For the broken



It's only the times like these that I would ever feel like drawing anything.

Hey..

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Wonderwall

I am a well of contradictions.

Messed up. Screwed up. Whacked up. Kicked around. Broken.

I want to keep loving you. Do I have to keep tearing up myself ?

I want to see you. It's sweet bliss and fiery hell at the same time.

Conflict of head and heart never ends.

I'm in too deep and I can't get out.

Beyond salvation. Just end me now, my wonderwall.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oasis - Wonderwall



Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now

Back beat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how

Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now

And all the roads that lead you there are winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how

I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall

Friday, January 6, 2012

Don't look back in anger

You know.

I have no idea what we are.

Perhaps we were just a catastrophe waiting to happen.

The paths we walked from a year ago and the paths we walked today were one and the same. But it's just so different now. It's scary.

I guess it's all my fault.

If only I didn't.

If only.

If only.

Countless 'If only's.

Smiles.

Laughter.

Words.

And comfort that we shared.

Where did it all go to ?

Drowning in a mire of regret.

"why are you sad ?"

"Because I can't understand our relationship. Sometimes I feel like we're friends, sometimes I feel like we're more than friends, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a stranger to you"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A song.

That resonated deep in me the instant I heard that chorus.

Oasis - Don't look back in anger



Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
'cause You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows, if it's night or day.
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock 'n Roll band
and throw it all away

Gonna start the revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside the summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by.
her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

And So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger
I heard you say

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late and we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger
I heard you say

It's not today.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Catch My Dream

With all that's said and done.

There's one simple fact left.

"I am not good enough"

That's that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Going through open house hell right now.

Need to go school so freaking early.

And do manual labour if there is any.

We have new classrooms now.

It's kinda cool but damn freaking troublesome as well.

Basically the room is locked and inaccessible to people outside our course and lecturers.

And we can decorate our sections and stuff.

The downside is each group of 4 ppl have to share 1 key.

Which is stupid.

If you're not the key holder you'll have to knock the door and hope someone inside comes to your rescue.

They should just give everyone a key la.

But now I wonder if I even got time to do assignments even after a 1 week extension cos of the stupid open house.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


RADWIMPS - おしゃかしゃま

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I wish that I..........

.............could only sing this in the rain
Cuz I know for sure that this'll make me cry again
I never imagined that this song was about a pain
But I'll try my best and I shall make it to the end

I wish that I could play the music that you'll like

I wish that I could play the role within your life
I wish that I could write the lyrics that you'll love
I wish that I could be the emblem of your love

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm just laughing at the irony now.

Seriously ?

Seriously ?

Seriously ?

Seriously ?

Just because.

Nothing has any meaning whatsoever.

So incredulous.

Oh well.

When all I needed then, were some friendly words.

Just a little bit of reassurance.

But ok.

Never mind that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1 of 2012 was pretty OK.

I didn't go crazy at least.

Thanks Haizul for the call.

And thanks Hui Jun for always listening to me.

And that's all we have for honorary mentions.

Life is bearable. It's not great, but its bearable.

And maybe it'll get better.

Maybe.

Don't get any hopes up.

More often than not, hopes are dashed.

Like dropping an egg onto sharp jagged rocks.

weeeeeeee. crack. splat.

Gone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CNBLUE - In My Head