Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Snip snip

I got a haircut today. And bubble tea.

Had very lousy ban mian for dinner though =(

It was SO BAD omg.

Mom please, how many times do I need to beg you not to buy from that store/place ? The food there is generally horrible. =(


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I'm walking on a knife's edge.

Teetering from a peak.

Reeling from a punch.

Drowning in air.

Drunk on thirst.

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Something good happened for Bryan today.

Well I'm very happy for him, but as usual I'm envious/jealous. Whichever, whatever, however.

Aiya I'm sure my time will come someday.

No actually I'm not sure at all.

I'm gonna be #FOREVERALONE

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All Time Low - Time Bomb ( the mv is out ! )

Monday, November 28, 2011

Everything Hurts

Especially the fingers on my left hand. They're sore as fuck.

But I feel some sense of accomplishment.

Cept for the B chord. That damn B chord.

Heh, I could be somewhat Maso. Even though my fingers are still sore, I wanna pick up my guitar and go again. But it's kind of too late for that now.

It's already become a form of escape.

Where I don't have to think of anyone, of anything but the chords I'm playing.

I would say I'm pretty bad, but what does it matter right ?

There's nobody to hear but me.


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Now my head hurts. From my forehead to the base of my skull.

I should sleep, but I can't.


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And my heart hurts because. Just because.

Once upon a time, I would have been really happy.

Now, not so. There is a smile, but it's a bitter one.

I want to believe in it, those words. But I can't.

Not with what's happened.

For trying, for lack of trying. It's become so painfully obvious to me.

"That I don't mean anything."

There's so much venom I want to spit.

So many thoughts that I want to deny.

Weighing so heavily on me.

Can I just fall asleep and not wake up ? A dreamless sleep would be nice.

Maybe until a day when someone who needs me comes to kick me off my bed.

To give me some meaning.

It's just so hard to keep myself going.

When morning comes everyday, I just want to not get up.

Just want to lay in bed. And forget everything.

Hole myself up in an empty white room and dream of oblivion.

So I wouldn't love and be denied love.

So I wouldn't hurt and be hurt.

So I wouldn't want what I can't have.

So I wouldn't feel anything anymore.

I would give away my happiness together with my sadness.

Wouldn't that be ideal ?

ii deshou ?

Saturday, November 26, 2011

My Misery

Has its own theme song.

It's called 'I'm a Loner'

I tried to walk away. I wanted to see if anyone would care enough to come after me.

I got this far. And nobody did.

So I just went back.

In defeat.

In bitterness.

In anger.

In helplessness.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Therapy

Now I know that lecturer take attendance don't tell anybody. Quietly down there marking on the paper. Sneaky bastard.

And once again. I find myself helpless.

That at this point, nothing I say or do is going to change anything.

Misery. Misery. Misery.

My throat is fine now but my nose is still blocked. Which is really annoying because I have to breath really loud.

Now resisting the urge to chug panadol flu-max.

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All Time Low - Therapy




My ship went down
In a sea of sound
When I woke up alone
I had everything
A hand full of moments
I wished I could change
and a tongue like a nightmare
That cut like a blade


In a city of fools
I was careful and cool
but they tore me apart like a hurricane
A hand full of moments
I wished I could change
but I was carried away

Give me therapy

I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling on everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can keep all your misery

My lungs gave out

as I faced the crowd
I think that keeping this up can be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone
I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious

Give me therapy

I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling on everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can take back your misery

Arrogent boy

love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
(They're better off without you)
Arrogent boy
Cause a scene like your supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you
You're lucky if your memory remains

Give me therapy

I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
You can take back your misery
Therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can choke on your misery






Monday, November 21, 2011

Shit Happens

1) Fell sick
2) kena warning letter for attendance.

wtf does edwin even mark attendance ? How the fuck did I kena a letter for a lecturer who doesn't mark attendance.

zzzz rudely awoken at 9am to get scolded for warning letter and even though I'm sick as fuck. Mum wants me to go to school.

I dunno whether she is stupid or stupid.

Can't be bothered with her lah.

wtf lah seriously. If I had the energy I would be facepalming all the way to next year.

Time Bomb

Those days are gone.

And I can't get them back.

Regrets.

I'm full of them.

I guess nothing's gonna last.

When I unknowingly put my heart in someone else's hands.

Things just change.

If I could take it all back.

If it all never happened.

If I could erase these emotions.

I guess we could be happier now.

And maybe just like how it used to be.

Ah well.

They're gone now.

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All Time Low - Time Bomb ( Acoustic )



We were like a time bomb set into motion,
We knew that we were destined to explode,
And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage,
You know I'm never gonna let you go.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Break my little Heart

Today was a utter and complete waste of time at school.

Lesson start 40 minutes late and ends one and a half hour early.

A grand total of a whopping ONE person showed up to audition.

And there has not been such a high concentration of people I dislike at the clubroom ever.

Show myself to the door.

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All Time Low - Break Your Little Heart



Don't be so sentimental, no
This love is accidental, so
Give it up
This was never meant to be
More than a memory for you

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Pokemon Master

Yay I just beat the Elite Four. That's half the game over. It was a series of battles of not-so-epic as well as epic pixelated proportions.

But got some sense of satisfaction lol.

I have been praticing guitar half an hour everyday. Or almost everyday. Just playing the same song over and over. I don't think I'm getting better though. Lol whatever. For fun only.

Yesterday I found out that my little cousins in addition to iPhones have a DSLR EACH WTF.

Kids nowadays so good life leh. =(

This is probably my last or at most second last week before the project rush starts. Gotta enjoy it to the fullest.

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I went to play FNM after subcomm interviews on friday. Clean sweep 3-0 ! Won all my matches. 2-1, 2-0, 2-1.

Freakin sweet. Even though the prize sucked. Feels good to win stuff.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Gsus4

Is annoying but nowhere near the annoyance level of the freaking 'B' Chord.

Bane of my life I swear.

Btw, I got my new guitar today. Looks freaking sweeeeeeet.

Friday, November 4, 2011

500 miles

YAY MONEY. $425.

I CAN DO STUFF NOW.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

RAGEY

MY PAY IS NOT IN DAMMIT. I MAD

FUCK IM GONNA GO DOWN AND COMPLAIN.

STUPID ICHIBAN.

NOW I HAVE TO DELAY ALL MY PLANS SERIOUSLY WTF