Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Spark

Twitter Convo :

@friend : half of me says 'stop loving', the other half of me says 'hell no'
@me : listen to the part that says stop. Thats your mind at work. He is saving what's left of your heart.

Personally, I think that's some really really good advice, why keep torturing myself like this ? Unfortunately, I'm unable to follow it.

Why ? Because there's this tiny little spark somewhere inside me called 'hope' that keeps me going on. Because of this pesky lil guy, I go through my days thinking that maybe one day, something will happen, maybe one day, she'll start to love me. Maybe one day , everything that I've done will be worth it.

Hope, I really really hate you sometimes, but I gotta thank you for keeping me true to myself, to do what I think is right no matter what anyone else says, even if it doesn't usually work out, you're still there to keep me going.

Honestly, I think that in everyone of us, this little spark exists. Even though bad things happen, we never really give up, we go on because our hope keeps us strong.

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Even if you don't love me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Even if you don't see me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Burden of a Cancer

Cancer is constantly feeling, feelings and emotions are hallmarks of this sign and this is the root of their problems.

Read this on twitter, and I agree so much.

I wish I wouldn't feel so much. It's not done me any good. It's only caused me pain and trouble.

I don't know why she affects me so much. And I can get jealous so so very easily because of her.

I really really wish that I'm not like this. I don't like to be so negative.

Even though I've been going to bed really really late recently ( like 3+ am ) , I still have trouble falling asleep. And I end up just lying there thinking about stuff.

About her, about me, about the things that my friends confide in me. About how and what I can say or do to make their lives just a little bit brighter, or at least less dark and ominous.

I really really don't like it when they ( actually 1 person ) keeps talking about themself so badly.
I mean, sure you've perhaps done some questionable stuff that you regret, but that definitely does not make you a bad person.

Au contraire , the fact that you feel regret makes you a good person. ( at least thats the way it is to me )

Well, thats the 'answer' I sorta came up with while trying to get to sleep these past few days.

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I wanna run, but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me

I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate


Boys Like Girls - Broken Man

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Paper Cranes

Had Ba Cor Mee for lunch and supper today =P.

Went to school for earth day today, learned how to fold paper cranes from Haizul and Sam. Collected some donations. It was ok, I honestly thought it would be a lot more boring.

Folded lots and lots of cranes. There were even cranes made out of pages of the calendar that was in the clubroom. Also one made out of McChicken wrapping paper.

It has been such a long time since I last saw her. I don't miss her as much as I used to ( still a lot, but not as much ), but seeing her again after so long made me happy for a while at least. After all, she's the reason I even came in the 1st place.

It doesn't hurt as much as it used to.

Perhaps I'm on the way towards getting over it. Perhaps.

....

It's never so easy.

It's so damn hard, so damn freaking hard. So damn confusing.

I want to see her, yet I don't want to see her, knowing that seeing her just makes it harder to move on.

Half of me wants to stop loving her, the other half defiantly objects.

This is so damn screwed up.



I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Holiday

Results are out.

Even though I didn't do well, I didn't fail anything as well thankfully. Considering almost everything was a late submission.

Happy for the people around me who did well.

Gotta buck up for the next academic year.

But for now.. ENJOY HOLIDAYS

EVERYDAY IS A SUNDAY

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Life is awfully quiet without Team Baka around.

Read something in the news a few days back. Apparently our Singapore zoo is getting pandas on loan from china as a symbol of the relationship between our countries.

Pandas .. wow

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I'm missing her again.

During the tour guide week, I was too busy to have any chance to think about her. But now that I'm free and have time on my hands, I'm thinking of her again.

There are so many different lyrics running through my head right now.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you


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When I was younger I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
And I don't think I'll ever change
I think I'm gonna stay the same

I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday


Friday, March 18, 2011

The Great Escape

Firstly, I'm very happy to have received emails from Team Baka so soon after their return to Kumamoto.

1st was Chihiro ( Hiro-baka )

Hello!
Thank you for e-mail and this 1week.
I could very very enjoy and fun so much
Ming Woon is very nice character.
You are reallybaka (ばか) and interesting!
I want to talk to Ming Woon again.
Thank you


2nd is Naoko ( Nao-baka )

Hello,
Baka #3 Naoko. I'm very fine. So, Please don't worry!
I want to see you very much.
To become good friend with you.
By the way, I'm got up at 4:00 pm.
I was very surprise!!!
Thank you.


3rd is Hikari ( Kari-baka )

チームばかへ♪
To TEAM BAKA♪


こんばんは!
Hello!

昨日の夜、家に帰ったよ(^^)
We came home at night.

みんなと友達になれて、とても嬉しいです(*^□^*)
I'm happy to become frends with TEAM BAKA!


From Hikari(ひかり)


lastly , its Fuuka ( Fuuuu-baka )

baka!!!
mosimosi?
fuukaだよー

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Haha, I am so happy to have received their emails, now I hope they'll sign up on facebook, which Naoko has already done. We had a little chat session using FB chat earlier in the day. Its rather convenient, and even though I don't like FB chat much, I have to say its much more convenient to hold a conversation on FB chat than via email.

Although it is much easier with FB chat, I still resolve to send them each an email at least once a week.

GOGO TEAM BAKA

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We had a karaoke session today, it was pretty fail as somehow the booking didn't go through and so we had to make a trip to another branch at some sleazy-looking ulu place.

we sang from like 4-10, pretty long time but it went by so quickly.

Sam and Fizah didn't sing anything at all. =(

Some of the songs I sang ( in no order, just off the top of my head ) :

1) SID - Monochrome no Kiss
2) Boys like Girls - Hero / Heroine
3) Boys like Girls - The Great Escape
4) The Gazette - Cassis
5) Plastic Tree - Spica
6) Plastic Tree - Makka Na Ito
7) Flumpool - Over the Rain
8) The Click Five - Jenny

and lots of other nonsense such as Digimon themes and epic chinese ver. of YMCA

We also had a British singing jazz.... which was pretty weird but he's rather good at it.

Had a pretty epic and fun time.

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Also practiced a little bit of guitar today.

Wetoriya & Hero/Heroine

e --------------------------------------|
b --------------------------------------|
g --------------------------------------|
d 5-5-555-7-77-7777-3-3-333-3-33-3333---|
a 5-5-555-7-77-7777-3-3-333-3-33-3333---|
E 3-3-333-5-55-5555-1-1-111-1-11-1111---|

e --------------------------------------|
b --------------------------------------|
g --------------------------------------|
d 5-5-555-7-77-7777-3~------------------|
a 5-5-555-7-77-7777-3~------------------|
E 3-3-333-5-55-5555-1~------------------|




涙堪えた瞳の奥に

何よりもきれいな光を集めて

雲の向こうに歩いていこう

雨のあとには虹が架かる

Gather light that's more beautiful than anything else

within the eyes that held tears back

Let's walk beyond the clouds,

after the rain, the rainbow will come


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Time

It's finally over. It's a very bittersweet ending.

It's kinda weird though, I never thought I would ever be in a situation like this.

Waking up early everyday, getting home late everyday.

Everyday was tiring, but every day was so much fun. I don't think I've enjoyed myself this much in a long long while.

It's been about 15 hours since they left. I still remember vividly, all the smiles and laughter, but when it was time to go, all the tears started flowing from their eyes. I could see it in their faces, that they were trying so very hard, to hold back the tears, to not make things harder than they already are. Naoko especially. She tried to hold back her tears but at the very end, she started crying as well.

And went we exchanged our last hugs, it was so difficult to let go of them. Looking at them walking through the gates, just standing and waving for as long as we could.

Even though I couldn't really communicate with them , they made the effort to communicate with me, we really had a lot, a lot of fun. And I think over these past few days, we had really gotten close to each other. Chihiro and Naoko the sporty swimmers especially. And Fuuka, the permanently high one. Nodoka the elementary school kid. Hikari, the one with the pouch and last but not least, Rina the silent one.

This small group of students really changed my life. And to think that I signed up for this program just on a whim.

Ah geez, now I kinda feel like I'm gonna cry.

I really really really really hope that one day we can see each other again.


さよなら ああ
あなたが好きで絡めた想い 真っ赤な糸
ほどけて ああ
魔法が解けた 僕は独りで歩いていけるかな?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Mango sorbet, apple pie and teh tarik

Even after so long, Ice cream from Island Creamery taste so damn good.

Yesterday, went to bring jap students around with Zhen Wei. They were pretty cool, the lot of them had shihlin crispy chicken and bubble tea.

The look on their faces when they 1st tried their oreo milkshakes was like woah oishi (LOL).
I guess they don't have that in Japan ? I dunno, it seems like its their 1st time trying it. And at the end of the day, they gave me and Zhen Wei a small gift each. Zhen Wei got a bowl and I got a key chain thingy with lions on it.

Well it was a pretty good day all in all. Other than the fact that I got sick at the end of the day.