Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas and aftermath

When I woke up on Christmas day at 12 noon. I was bored, really really bored. I dunno what I actually did to pass the time, details are foggy.

Then came 6pm, off to my Aunt's house for Christmas gathering. Had some weird western buffet thingy. It was really good, and really expensive. I ate until I almost burst. And then we went home.

No presents. Nice. Which reminds me, I gotta get presents for ppl and give them next year which is a week from now, when school starts. Headache on what to get for who. Well actually the who-to-get-presents-for list isn't that long. So far only thought of 1 person anyway.

Well it wasn't a good day for presents, but definitely a good day for Dota, out of I think 8 games played from yesterday after the gathering until now, I haven't lost a single game yet.

Busy busy next week, gotta film a few days in school.

Santa gave me 1337 skills for Xmas. Joy to the world. Probably gone soon. Hours of work, hope everything goes well.

Good luck to us !

and incidentally -

the wait

Friday, December 24, 2010

Plastic world, plastic people

We live in a plastic world, filled with plastic people. Not plastic as in having plastic surgery done, but plastic as in fake, putting on false fronts, pretentious, trying to be someone they are not.

I have only a small circle of friends, and even in that small circle there is an even smaller circle of people that I feel I can truly be at peace when I'm with them, where I don't have to worry about being judged.

There are 'friends' that I've met since entering poly almost 2 years ago that I can certainly do without. So far I've had someone pretend to help me with a crush, but was only doing it for his own benefit. I trusted too easily back then. Trust once lost, isn't regained easily.

I may forgive, but I will not forget.

There's also this really annoying brat that keeps jabbering on and on about her own 'problems'. Lecturer sucks, school sucks, gpa sucks bla bla bla. Seriously, STFU. People have their own problems without having to hear you going on and on about your 'problems'. There's millions of people out there in less well off places wishing they had your 'problems'.

Just 2 of the people who annoy me greatly =)

Damn plastic world, I can't say I'm totally true to myself either but I feel that I know myself well enough to know that I am not much of a person.

Watching [Departures] today with some JCC people made me think about how people like to make themselves seem noble, holier than thou.

While watching Daigo get alienated by his friend and his wife for the job that he is doing. Hearing all the comments somehow really ticked me off.

'CB, that guy damn bastard' bla bla bla , etcetera.

I call some serious Bullshit. As if you'll act any differently if it was you. It's all well , good and easy to say you won't be like this while you're watching a MOVIE. Heck, it's all well, good and easy to say stuff like that when it's not actually happening to you.

Maybe your sibling takes up that kind of occupation, or your child in the future, I'd like to see how open-minded and accepting you are then.

I don't know myself well, but I know enough to know that I won't be accepting it, that 99% of the society we live in won't accept it. I won't want any child of mine with that kind of occupation, even though it's a job that someone will have to do.

For all the talk about open-mindedness, It never applies to oneself, only others.

So how bout, drop the pretense, stop trying to act noble, stop trying to put yourself up on a pedestal.

That aside, [Departures] is a great movie, other than the totally shitty ending. Watching it the 1st time with HuiXian and Emmie showed me a bit of the ugly/judgmental side of society. Watching it the 2nd time with more people showed me even more, just not directly from the movie itself.

--------------------------Ranting aside-------------------------------------------------------

Sub-comm interviews, happened just as I predicted. Fizah and Sam both got in. Eric as well, happy for them.

However, something I'm not totally comfortable with is the fact that most of the interviewees were judged as total strangers. We're judging them from a 2o minute interview which doesn't really show what kind of people they are.

Although there really isn't much we can do seeing as a large portion are ghost members. Which is a shame, because I think if we had gotten to know them beforehand at events, camps or stuff. The interviews and judging phase would have been much more efficient and accurate.

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Gonna let off some pent-up rage


1st day of filming today, woke up at 7, out of house by 7.30.
Lakeside by 8.30
Chinese gardens by 9
started at around 10.30
ended around 2

we're about a quarter of the way done I guess.
Dragging heavy equipment under the hot sun is really really tiring.

More in store for us next week, even heavier next time.

When I finally reached home, all I want is to camp in front of my laptop and relax ( no life right ? yea I agree ). BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, freakin parents want to drag me out for dinner when I already had it. I tell them I'm tired, they tell me don't play games and go to sleep then.

How bout fuck off ? I'm not like you freakin sitting in air-conditioned office.

I WAS OUT UNDER THE HOT SUN FOR 6 GOD DAMN HOURS FILMING. I DON'T NEED TO TAKE THIS BULLSHIT. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME.

YEA I'M AN UNGRATEFUL BASTARD , SUE ME

Freakin parents, I swear they're retarded sometimes, just because I'm sitting in front of my computer doesn't mean I'm gaming. 90% of the work I have to do outside of filming, involves sitting in front of the computer. The other 10% is drawing the picture I have on the computer screen.

Like to talk thrash to me about stuff they have no idea about. Go teach your chinese ? Do your freakin admin work and order people around ? I don't give a fuck, don't lecture me about stuff you know nothing about.

Yes I appreciate you giving me a place to stay, clothes to wear, food to eat, school to attend. But please understand that the both of you, who have not experienced poly education, please do not act as if you know everything. It's miles different from what you have experienced 25 / 30 years ago.

And I FUCKING HATE IT when you compare me with my cousins, your model students, my friends who do better than me in school or seem like a better , more filial child than me.

If you like them so much, go ahead and parent them and get the fuck off my case. It'd be more peaceful at least. You'd be surprised, they're not the model children you think they are.

Why can't you be satisfied with the children you have, instead of endlessly comparing them to other people's kids ?

It's not like I'm doing anything bad or illegal. Sure I don't get good grades, I even repeated a year. My record is squeaky clean, I'm not stealing, raping, fighting or doing drugs , so wtf kinda problem do you have with me ?

YEA I'M COMPLAINING LIKE THE BRAT I MENTIONED EARLIER.
SUE ME FOR RAGING ON MY BLOG.

------------------------------------------/end rage--------------------------------------------

Feel so much better now.

Ok back to work.


And I'm reaching out an empty hand
Hold it there until it's full
Make it last

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The storm breaks

Finally, finished and submitted 2 assignments for this term. Time for a short break. Doubt I will be able to enjoy much though. Gotta do some filming during this 3 weeks, and submit another assignment by the end of the 1st week back.

Not to mention I gotta organize that badminton session sometime this term break.

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Sub-comm interviews are next week. We had some today, which were kind of like a joke tbh. Some really epic BS being said and done.

Out of the 6 people that I'm fairly familiar and friendly with, I think I can say with utmost confidence, that Samantha will make it in. The fact that today's interviewees were kinda fail... helps I guess.

People may think I'm being biased, but I know what she's done so far, and I'm feel she's totally qualified for it.

Should I join sub-comm again ? lol. I really don't wanna be president though =(.
Hope they're not serious about that.

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Pictures ~

Not too bad if I do say so myself, although I don't think its that great either.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Right or wrong ?

Is it wrong for me to like a girl who already has a boyfriend ?

Whether its right or wrong, right now, it doesn't matter to me. Boyfriend or not, I don't care.

Maybe it was a misconception that it was wrong to like someone already attached. I realise now that even if I can't have her. It's ok. I don't have to force myself to stop liking her.

I'm still able to see her in school some days.
I can still talk to her.
I can still SMS her to have a chat.
I can still crack jokes and laugh with her.

To do everything I can to make her laugh.

At the very least, I want to enjoy the time I have with her. And I hope she enjoys the time she spends with me as well.

Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. Its good enough.

Maybe one day, she'll feel it, and she'll respond to me.

Maybe, just maybe.

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Your skin, like gravity
Is pulling every part of me
I fall
You and I collide