Friday, October 29, 2010

~The white star overlooking the ferris wheel, fiddling with a red string as I sing alone on the roof~

So I haven't seen , heard or talked to you for more than 2 days already. And I'm like having withdrawal symptoms or something haha. =P

I had a really wtf moment in class yesterday. I got applauded by a teacher when I walked out of his class... like what the hell ? It kinda went like -

Cher : you all can go if you don't want to stay in class anymore, or you want to go home and do your work.

Me : Cher, you sure can go anot ?

Cher : yes yes sure sure, once one person leave all will surely follow. So who will be the brave one to be the 1st to leave.

Me : Ok ah cher , you say one ah ? K bye cher

-Then i walked out.. then he stand up and start clapping.. O.O wtf


And then.. stayed up doing Maya until like 3.30 am resulting in waking up at 10am today to not go to school and instead wasting time like usual. Like totally wasting time sitting in front of the com and surfing random stuff since 11am until now and still going strong ! xD

So work's kinda piling up as I realise I'm actually super behind on the 101 ideas. CRAAAAAAP, i really really hate that stupid assignment.

Life's really quite dreary when I don't get to see you or even talk to you in msn or anything. I miss you... alot... lol. I'm happiest when I'm with you, or even just talking to you over msn or anything that involves you. You always manage to put a smile on my face.

If not then I still have at least, the memories of you replaying in my mind over and over and over again.

meguru, meguru, kimi wo omou
Around and around, thinking of you

I think well, I'm just gonna go with the flow, when the time feels ripe to tell you, then I'll tell you then.

When it feels right... I guess, no idea when it might be.

I just know, that I want to see you in person really really badly. Just a glimpse will do, a smile and a wave of your hand. It's a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.


Inside my right hand there’s warmth
Someday it’ll shine over someone else
The rhythm starts to beat faster
My heart screaming out your name

Monday, October 25, 2010

Wishful thinking.


Today, a lingering thought that has been at the back of my mind finally manifested itself as a real and definitive danger.

As much as i hate to think about, i think that, no, I KNOW that there's definitely a lot of other guys out there that are interested in her. These past few months, it's been a topic that I've kept pushing to the back of my head. But now, I can't ignore it anymore.

This is how it feels to be stuck between a rock and another rock. Either way I go, I just don't see much chance of success.

Option 1) confess, get it done fast.
Most probable result 1) No. Then I'll probably go emo for like a month or something.

Option 2 ) wait it out, get closer to her 1st
Most probable result 2 ) Someone else goes and does it while I'm taking my own sweet time

Yeap, either way doesn't really go well.

And then there's Option 1 and 2's alternate ending. Against all odds, she say's yes............. Nah, not gonna happen. Not with my kinda luck in love.

Now let's examine the non-luck factors

Good points : .. ... ... can't think of any
Bad points : .. ... ... geez where do i start. Lazy. check. No talent to speak of. check. Not good looking at all. check. urgh what else is there.. ARGH WHATEVER FML

Just 2 hours a week, 2 measly hours. Even though its something, its nowhere near enough.
GRRR, damn envious of her classmates.

Damn, I wish I can see her everyday. It just feels so uneasy when she's not there. Dunno how to explain this feeling. I just know it sucks to feel like this all the time. It's not cool at all, I can barely concentrate on anything else.

Crap, I just hope it all doesn't end up to be a waste of time. How am i supposed to win, when my deadliest foe is myself. How am i supposed to change myself to be good enough for her. Ok so I know I gotta change myself, how the bloody hell am i supposed to do, where do I start from, what am I supposed to improve on ?

So many questions, so many doubts, so little hope.

Happy ending ? Sure hope so.

Yellowcard - Gifts and curses



Pretty much summarizes my mood right now


If I look up there’s a colourless sky, water vapor melting off my heart,
If you were taken from me, with that my dream too would end

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Art, manga, cake and growing feelings

Met Sam at Orchard today. She was a lil bit late but.. so pretty today.

Then off to Art friend to get stuff for our GDP animal standees assignment. A3 paper for a cover and supposed to get A3 mounting boards as well. But they were out of stock. So we bought the super big one, then went outside to cut. Sorry arh, I dint do a good job of cutting.

Then go kino walk walk look around and browse. So apparently she likes baking recipe books LOL.

Looked through some animation books as well. Super cool stuff.

Sam modelled a classroom on maya for one of her previous assignments.. wowz, thats pretty damn good.

After that went back to MRT station to meet up with JCC members so we can go to JCC. =P Met Jonathan while we were waiting. Surprise surprise, Haizul instead of Shaojie, thats good xD.

The manga/anime exhibition thing was a lot smaller than i expected. But there were some really nice pieces of art on show. But the free manga is like.. zzz, some super old unheard of stuff, which we didn't take.

Voted for some sorta lucky draw thingy, hope i win the kino vouchers, which is the 2nd place prize. 1st prize is return air ticket from Japan, which would be totally wasted on me since I won't have the cash to go to Japan in the 1st place.

Then back to ION with Sam and Jonathan, this time's to look for a cake for my Mom's birthday present.

Thanks Sam ! For helping me find a nice cake. Mom likes it a lot xD.

And then this is where we said goodbye, if i wasn't carrying so much stuff I would totally send her home. =(.

-~-~

Went some Coffeeshop for Tzi Char at night to celebrate my Mom's birthday. We had curry fish head ~mmmmmmm~

Go home all too full to eat cake already haha.

-~-~

You're so beautiful and adorable, no matter what you're wearing, sweet, helpful and always cheerful. I wish so badly you would be mine. These feelings that I cannot suppress no matter how hard I try.

Embraced, fleeting, falling feelings
Are like flowers in brilliant, full bloom

How much longer can I go on like this I wonder ?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Screaming, singing, laughing, enjoying

Wednesday 20th October-

6 hours of karaoke, more screaming than singing actually but it was fun.

List of stuff i sang/screamed :

Spica - Plastic Tree
Makka na Ito - Plastic Tree
Replay - Plastic Tree

Dear Tokyo - SID
Otegami - SID

Utakata - Kagrra,
Shizuku - Kagrra,

The Great Escape - Boys like Girls

High School Never Ends - Bowling 4 Soup

I Miss you - Blink 182

Famous last Words - MCR
Teenagers - MCR
I Don't Love you - MCR

Viva La Vida - Coldplay

Yellow Beauty - LM.C

Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

-~-~

So sad couldn't find Wetoriya lol =(

Even more sad is that you weren't there to duet with me =((((

-~-~

Then to burger king, i almost left me $50 textbook there, heng i remembered.

-~-~

Reach home at like 11+ super shagged. Good thing today's class started at 12 pm, or i think i sure die in class.

GDP animal standee due next monday ... rush rush rush, gonna buy mounting boards and stuff on saturday.

Haiz, school just started and I'm already feeling the heat.. what is this..


Plastic Tree - Spica ( Piano Ver- )



Beautiful, amazing cover


Please please please...
Let me.. let me... let me... let me...
Get what i want..
This time..

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

-Tired-

Supposed to wake up at 6, woke up at 5.30 instead -_-. Couldn't get back to sleep, rolling around for half an hour until 6am.

Out of the house at 6.30

School by 7.25

super early.

GEMs was ok i guess. Learnt that Zenya pomegranate green tea has like 10 teaspoons of sugar in it ><.

Other than that, it's kinda hard to pay attention when there's a super cute girl sitting next to you =P

And then it's off to Storyboarding and story telling class.

It was rather fun until the teacher said gotta bring laptop for subsequent classes. Boooooo =(

Chilled in clubroom after classes ended. Was subjected to rabid fangirling by Haizul and some other girl I don't know.


Left at 4.30
Home by 5.30
Slept till 7.30

Supposed to work on assignments, but I'm like totally lazy right now


Because you live, girl

My world
Has twice as many stars in the sky


Not there I can actually see stars in SG but whatever

Saturday, October 16, 2010

5-7-5

Playing 'I'm a Loner' with just 1 finger is freaking weird. How the heck am i supposed to do it with my whole left hand.

So.. I'm always wondering, where are you ? Whatcha doing ? etc etc. Even though I've still got stuff to do, they're just unable to keep my mind off you. The only things that are able to are DoTA and magic ( which I've semi-quit ). Something thought challenging that forces me to think/concentrate.

Did 3 ideas today, so today's not been totally wasted. Still... 20 odd to go, 4 days. Think I can do it ? Hell yeah I can, will definitely find a way to.

An attempt at ...

Always in my mind
Captivating smile of yours
Brings light to my life


... a haiku, I think its in the right form. But is it any good ? Nah i doubt so. But it says what I'm thinking so.. good enough i guess. But it just sounds totally weird.

The last time I did this was all the way in Sec 2, during lit class. You're the one who made me want to try writing one again.

First try in 4 years, just for you.


Well... I really really miss you, see you on Tuesday I guess, at least I know I'll definitely be seeing you once a week.


SID - Otegami



This is a damn good live performance

LOL at Yuuya, tossing his sticks away

Yea go Shinji, love that solo

Dunno what Aki doing, playing like some crazy dude

Mao's voice damn good

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A good sleep

So.. now that the GEMs stuff is settled, i finally got a good sleep. Got into the same gems as she did ^^ , which is a relief, i thought i wouldn't get there. But in the end there were like 11 free spaces.
Haha, sorry bros for Pangseh-ing u all.

I'm getting the hang of it ! CN Blue's " I'm a Loner " intro. I kept picking the wrong strings at the beginning. Slowly gonna learn the full song, but a few technical parts that i got no idea how to do.

So now comes the dreaded 101 idas.. 40 ideas by wednesday ! HOW ?!?!?!?!


CN Blue - Love



They played this performance on my birthday !


~其实你是个心狠又手辣的小偷, 我的心, 我的呼吸和名字都偷走
~

Saturday, October 9, 2010

~La Di Da~

I really really think that we're getting closer, I just hope I don't end up being really really wrong haha =D


SID- Eru ( Yell )



Think I've already posted this before but whatever.
This is to the sweetest girl ever

Let it all out  Sometimes  Let me catch you with this hand

You're not alone  Surely you're not alone
From the day your voice reached me  I've needed you

"Those who shed tears can grow up,"
Rather than taking refuge in these irresponsible words  Spoken by the strong
You should party here  You're more beautiful when you smile

If you could look at your faults from a different angle  They'll be reborn  As part of your personality

Sing of the present  Let's sing together
Because you're getting through to me  Even if you can't make  A sound


You show me such a wonderful view
Now it's my turn  To offer thanks for these sincere thoughts
Because what changed me was  Undoubtedly  That's right  Your voice

To you at the beginning of your journey  I gift you with this cheer
For as long as my voice lasts  I'll repeatedly, always  Cheer for you

_________________

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Afterthoughts

Well thanks Santa, wasn't exactly what i had in mind but it was great nonetheless. I really enjoyed being around her. A lot of funny stuff happened though we were all sorta bored. DVDs, comics, horror stories, jokes and a few animal invasions.

Can't help but notice, how her eyes become crescents when she smiles, and I can swear they twinkle when she smiles. A beautiful smile + eye-smile that melts my heart. And then there's that super adorable fear of bugs and horror stuff. And the way she curls up into a ball when sleepy
( ~awwwwwww~ )

I miss her already.


SID - Cosmetic



New single ! YEAH !

Mao really likes singing from a girl's POV, and that stuff he's wearing looks like female clothes
Aki's hair is kinda crazy
Shinji is cool as usual
No comments on Yuuya

like their outfits, except Mao's

Monday, October 4, 2010

A moment of happiness

Soo... right.. words can't describe it .. =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

YESH ! SHE'S GOING. FINALLY SEE HER AGAIN ! FIRETRUCK YEA !

And its the 1st time , 1st time, she initiated a convo with me , wahahaha ! Even though it was to ask about camp stuff and means absolutely nothing.

WOOHOOHOO, now i have a reason to look forward to it, although its just camp, and there's gonna be like 40 other ppl.

Santa, my wish for this year, is to be able to spend some quality time with this girl. I know I haven't been much of a good kid, and its still a long way from X'mas, Please please please grant me this.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

ZZZ

Doesn't seem like I'm getting anywhere at all. And I'm beginning to think that I'm just becoming an annoyance.

So.. I see your name there, and I'm not gonna double-click on it, no matter how much i want to


Peace