Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I'm moving.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Stop the Clocks

Every time that I'm with her. Time just flies by way too fast.

If I could just stop the clocks, stop time from moving so I could be with her a little bit longer...

Well not like a little bit longer would be enough anyway. It's never enough.

Right now in the silence of the night.

All I want to do is to see that cheeky smile and those bright eyes, to grasp those tiny hands and hold her close to me.

I'm not content to be just by myself anymore.

And that, in itself, is kind of a problem.

Sunday, March 10, 2013


Swimming up a stream, suffocating in between
Wake up from a dream, still stuck in the middle


I thought about why I always keep things inside, why I don't just say what I want to say, or just do what I want to do.

It's better that way. Then nobody else will be affected. Or be unhappy because of something I said or did.

Me liking someone. It's more like a burden than anything else for her.

And that's not fair.

Nobody should have to carry that burden.



Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say
Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say
And as he faced the sun he cast no shadow

Friday, March 8, 2013

Stuck In The Middle

Sometimes I really wonder what the problem is with me ?

Basically, why can't I talk to the person I like when there are other people around.

Maybe things would be different if I wasn't like this.

All I need or want is actually just one person.

One person for me to care about and one person to care about me.

Just to love one person and to be loved in return.


The other problem would be that I am just scared to do anything.

Like.. I dunno.

I just keep holding myself back.

I find myself reaching my hand out and then pulling it back.


Why am I so scared.

I dunno what I should do.

All options suck.


Companionship is not the most addictive drug. I was wrong. I actually don't give a damn about companionship.

That would be the person you are with.

I am so addicted it's not even funny.

I need to get a grip on myself.


'I want to run, but only far enough to make you miss me'

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Little Things

'The little things that make me so happy, all I want to do is live by the sea.'

I guess I'm feeling kind of lost.

And helpless.

And hopeless.

And not good enough.

And always in the shadow of someone else.

I don't usually mind that, until it comes to the person I care about most.

I hate never having the right things to say.

I hate it that I just can't help in any way.

I hate how I never know what to do in whatever situation.

Feels damn pathetic.

'What would you say if I said to you, It's not in what you say it's in what you do'

Monday, February 25, 2013


I feel like maybe I should take a few days off and be alone.

It seems like lately I've forgotten what being alone feels like that when it does happens, the loneliness eats into me so much more.

Before I get even more caught up in this. I should remind myself of the one thing I know to be true.

Loneliness is my nature.

It is my essence.

It is what I live in.

I need to snap out of it. To stop trying to live in an illusion of happiness.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

If Happy Ever After Did Exist

This person does not have my first kiss, but she does have a bunch of my other firsts.

1st person to say I'm quite good looking.

1st person to tell me I'm intimidating.

1st person to say that I'm unpredictable and confident and daring.

1st person to be concerned about me walking in the rain.

It's quite amusing because these are things that I won't ever think of myself to be.

And she asks the most frustrating questions.


Saturday, February 16, 2013

Sunday Morning Call

It's been an amazing week.

Me, who usually really dislikes going out, has been out for everyday of the week. Cept for Wednesday.

And everyday, I've had something(someone) to look forward to.

And now on the eve of the week of shoot, there's a wistful feeling.

The not-so-sudden but still shocking anyway realization that I won't have time for the next week. Everyday is gonna be at least 12 hours long. From the hours in the morning where the sun is barely up, until past the time where everybody's already home from the office or w/e.

No time to meet or chat. Maybe the odd text here and there.

Well yeah it's only a week but, it's funny what feelings of attachment can do to a person.

The time that I've had with you, have always always always felt too short.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Paper Walls

It's cold tonight.

I'm exhausted but I can't sleep.

How do I set things right ?

I've only just found you, am I going to lose you already ?

Let's take what hurts, and write it all down.
On these papers walls in this empty house

Tuesday, February 5, 2013


It's been such a long time.

I've been really busy with internship. But somehow, there's less than 20 days of it left.

It started off pretty rough when I first started going on shoots. I think I got yelled at once every 15 minutes or something like that. And it went on for quite some time actually. Gradually got less towards the end though. Even so, I really enjoyed it. And on the 16th of Feb, I actually get to be on the crew for a tele-movie shoot. Pretty damn excited about that.

How many of my classmates can actually say they were part of the making of a movie ? Even if its just one meant to be aired on TV.

The company actually wants me to stay on after internship ends but I'll really have to consider based on how much money they can offer me. I plan to be mostly self sufficient monetary wise after I graduate. Hopefully we can come to an agreement and I can stay on until maybe a month or so before I enlist.

The upcoming projects actually look pretty interesting, and I may get to try new stuff like being a Camera Operator in addition to practicing my grip skills. If I wasn't worried about money, I would take the job even if it's just $1k a month.


Work aside, I met a person. And there's something about her that just gives me such a rush. And I don't really know what to do. I feel like we could be really close friends but at the same time I'm scared of getting too close because we all know what happens when I get too attached to a person.

But even so, I've not felt so much energy for a long time. It's like... the world is suddenly a brighter place because of this person.


I think that's all I have for now. There is still stuff I have to write about but I think I'll save that for another time.

And I guess I'll end off with a song. As usual.

Noel Gallagher - Talk Tonight

I wanna talk tonight,
Until the morning light,
Bout how you saved my life